If you’re reading this, chances are you want to change your life. You’ve recognised that your actions towards your partner and family are wrong. You might feel trapped in a cycle of anger, control, or violence, but there’s hope. The cycle can be broken, and it starts with understanding where this behaviour comes from and choosing to do something about it.
Why Does Domestic Violence Happen?
Domestic violence doesn’t just come out of nowhere. It’s often something that’s been passed down, generation after generation. Many men who use violence grew up in homes where they witnessed or experienced abuse themselves. Over time, this teaches the belief that power and control over others are how you deal with problems or stress.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. Just because you learned these patterns in the past doesn’t mean you have to keep repeating them, passing generational trauma to those you care about. The first step to breaking the cycle is understanding what drives the behaviour.
The Impact of What You’ve Experienced in The Past
Maybe you have experienced domestic violence, and now you’re repeating the same things you went through. This is called intergenerational trauma. What you experienced growing up has shaped how you handle emotions, conflict, and relationships. If you were exposed to violence as a child, you might see violence as a normal response to stress or frustration.
But here’s the truth: violence isn’t a solution or the answer to your problems. It’s damaging to the people you care about, and it’s damaging you. If you want a different life, you need to start looking at where this behaviour is coming from and what you can do to change it.
How EveryMan Can Help You Break the Cycle
At EveryMan, we understand that change is hard but possible. Our Working With the Man (WWM) program is here to help you stop using violence and build healthier relationships. This 20-week program is designed for men like you who want to learn how to manage their emotions, resolve conflict without violence, and create respectful relationships.
The journey isn’t easy, but it’s worth it. The WWM program works with you to understand the impact of your actions, teach new skills for handling conflict, and support you as you take steps to change. Your family's safety is our top priority, and we work closely with our Partner Support and Advocacy Team to ensure that your family is safe and protected.
Taking the First Steps While You Wait
If you’re waiting to start the program, that doesn’t mean you must wait to begin making changes. We have come across a great tool (that you can start today) called the innerBoy App – She Is Not Your Rehab. This app is a powerful tool to help you look at where your behaviour is coming from and how you can begin to shift it. It offers exercises that help you reflect on your past, understand the impact of intergenerational trauma, and start unlearning the behaviours that lead to violence.
The app is a great way to take the first steps towards change while waiting for more intensive support. It helps you build self-awareness and emotional regulation—two key skills for your long-term journey of breaking the cycle.
Making the Commitment to Change
Change doesn’t happen overnight, and it won’t always be easy. But making the decision to stop using violence is the most important step you can take for yourself and for your family. EveryMan is here to help you every step of the way.
By breaking the cycle, you’re not just improving your own life – you’re also making things better for the people you care about. You’re showing them that change is possible and that healthier, safer relationships are within reach.
It starts with you. Take the first step today.